I hate waiting. I am an impatient individual that wants everything to happen now. Or earlier than now.
Waiting on a short sale to buy a condo was my personal hell as something that I wanted so badly took forever (then didn’t happen as I found a different place…that I did buy). On Mondays, I wait for the weekend not only for the respite from the office life, but for my favorite sports teams to take the field (this is additionally hard when the Bears or Manchester United shit the bed leaving an awful memory). In case you couldn’t tell, I really, really, really hate waiting.
Right now, I am dealing with what must be the fourth worst wait in the history of man. [As an aside, the top three worst waits for my money are: (1) The period of time between asking someone to marry you and their response, (2) Bar exam results and (3) The pregnancy test. Feel free to suggest your own]. For the last nine months, I’ve been engaged in oral, written and (nearly) hand-to-hand combat with an opposing counsel. Let’s just say that the word hate doesn’t accurately describe my loathing for this individual. At issue between us is a Motion for Summary Judgment and, in my non-humble opinion, my learned friend (who is neither learned nor a friend) lacks the necessary intellectual heft to win this motion.
After a long wait and many hours of working, the actual day of hearing came. The learned opposing counsel presented an amazingly sparse argument akin to ‘Nuh-uhhhhhhhh!’ I thoroughly refuted all points that had been raised while advancing multiple legal theories that vanquished my opponent’s attempt to win the day.
And damnit, I was dressed a hell of a lot better than my opposition.
The hearing drew to a close and I began to prepare myself for what I thought was a victory. The Judge began thanking us both for compelling briefs, well-thought out arguments and the typical bullshit that Judges tell to warring attorneys before crushing one of them. It’s at this time that the fourth worst wait begins: the time spent waiting for a judge to say who wins and who loses.
It’s a wait that can only be made worse by hearing exactly what this judge told us that day:
“I’ll take this matter under advisement and shall issue a written opinion in the next six weeks.”
I’m not sure what I hate more: waiting or losing. Making matters worse is that this judge may combine my two least favorite things into a single judicially administered benchslap. Right in time for Christmas.