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Scene Three Ways

I went to a doctor’s appointment with my fiancée last week. It was the first time that I had gone to this doctor with her and as can be expected, there was a little apprehension on my part when going into a physician’s appointment that isn’t for my treatment. I don’t mind letting my doctors know what I do for a living but I am a tad reticent about scaring the living bejeezus out of a doctor that she might get sued if she makes the slightest mistake negatively influencing her care. As such, I envisioned walking into the appointment going one of three possible ways:

Doctor: And you must be the fiancé, nice to meet you.
Me: Likewise.
Doctor: Your fiancée hasn’t told me, so I must ask: what do you do?
Me: Try and stay out of trouble. Follow my parole officer’s instructions. You know, the usual.

A simple attempt at humor to deflect from the fact would successfully mask the fact that the doctor has let the Trojan horse into her office. That’s how I would play it…if the vibe from the doctor is right. I could also see shedding a little light on my professional background but masking the fact that I chase ambulances.

Doctor: Namby, nice to meet you, your fiancée had said that you were coming.
Me: Thanks for letting me come.
Doctor: She said that you both work in the same field, what exactly do you do?
Me: I’m a lawyer.
Doctor: That’s awesome! Your parents must be proud!!! What area of law do you practice?

A medical professional that is complementary of my chosen line of work doesn’t need to have that bubble burst that I make her profession that much more expensive to practice in.

“I’ve got the unique position that I get practice in a lot of different areas, so it is really wherever the firm or our clients decide that they need me to be, I go.”

A truthful statement willfully shedding light on the facts that makes no one the wiser; in other words, the perfect lawyer’s answer. Now, if the doctor is just giving off the ‘God Complex’ and ‘I eat pieces of shit patients for breakfast’ vibes, then my answers may overstate rather than understate my loathing for the medical professional standing in front of me:

Doctor: I’m sorry, you are?
Me: Namby. I’m her fiancé.
Doctor: Ah.
Me: She asked me to be here today.
Doctor: I see.
Me: Yep.
Doctor: And what do you do?
Me: I’m a Plaintiff’s lawyer.
Doctor: Ohhh. Oh.
Me: I’m with a firm that focuses on medical malpractice and Plaintiff’s personal injury.
Doctor: Do you…um…have a lot of cases?
Me: You better believe it. Doctors seemingly couldn’t stop screwing up. It’s like their lives depended on it.

Doctors visits can be so much fun…especially if they don’t know what you do for a job.

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About thenambypamby

Lawyer in Chicago. I blog, I tweet, I try to stay anonymous.

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