Cue panic stations!

I am in a state of panic. It’s almost October and upon searching for this years Halloween costume, I realized something. No, it’s not that I’ve wasted half my life defending people that I don’t care about. It’s more shocking than anything I’m yet to encounter in my day to day dealings with accused murderers, and it’s this – they don’t sell lawyer costumes for Halloween. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Hello, I was just wondering where you keep the slutty lawyer costumes?
Shop keep: Pardon?
Me: Oh, well I was just wondering if you have any lawyer costumes for Halloween?
Shop keep: Yes, I heard that, but slutty costumes!? Please! I mean, a nurse is a fantasy, yeah, but who fantasies about their lawyer? I don’t think I’ve met one hot lawyer before.
Me: I’m a lawyer.
Shop keep: Ah, yes, well… there you are.

This conversation wasn’t the only thing that had me lost for words. This was something that grabbed me by surprise. I was in shock. I cried. I laughed. I wasn’t sure what to think. After all, they have all the major professions. Doctor, nurse, police officer, clown – why not lawyer?

It’s okay, I thought. Maybe the fact is that no one sees us as a joke. But the again isn’t there something healthy about being able to laugh at yourself. I can laugh at myself – after my initial shock had warn off I had decided perhaps I could just go as myself.

To be honest, I didn’t really want to go to Halloween as a lawyer. I mean Halloween is about dressing up and I wouldn’t really be doing this if I went as myself (a slutty lawyer? Me? Never!). I just wanted to believe that some man, somewhere, was fantasizing about a seductive lawyer. And then I realized – no I don’t!