Diffusing Anger – Yours and Others

Anger is a strong feeling that you experience when anything goes horribly wrong or whenever someone wrongs us. It is characterized by emotions of tension, annoyance, and irritability. Everyone experiences rage at some point in their lives. It’s a very natural reaction to irritating or tough conditions.

Anger is only an issue when it is overly shown and starts to interfere with your everyday life and interpersonal relationships. Anger may vary in severity from mild irritation to wrath. It might be overwhelming or illogical at moments. It may be difficult to keep your emotions in check in certain situations, which may force you to act in a manner you would not normally behave.

Types of Anger

Types of Anger

You can divide anger in three forms:

  • Passive Aggression

In this situation, a person attempts to suppress their rage in order to prevent coping with it, yet they usually end up releasing it is harmful and damaging ways.

  • Assertive Aggression

It can be a good way to release the rage. It entails controlling your wrath by employing your speech to patiently tell and try to alleviate the issue. Anger is conveyed in a non-threatening manner here.

  • Open Aggression

This sort of rage may be followed by physical or verbal hostility, such as yelling at kids or people or striking objects. The goal of this form of rage is usually to psychologically or physically harm the person at whom it is aimed.

Aggression can also be communicated vocally or through nonverbal cues in one of two different ways.

  • Verbal

When someone displays their rage orally, they are more prone to elevate their emotions. If their rage is focused on some other individual, they may become disrespectful and utter unpleasant things.

  • Nonverbal

A person who exhibits their fury nonverbally will exhibit some subtle bodily abnormalities. They may grimace or scowl, tighten their teeth, or make a fist. People may also reach out at other people or items, causing severe harm to the other person or thing and, in rare situations, injuring themselves.

The two methods of feeling resentful are not necessarily exclusive, so it is conceivable to witness someone getting mad in both methods.

Why Does Someone Become Angry?

Why Does Someone Become Angry

There are several hypotheses as to why individuals become enraged. In my opinion, it occurs for four basic reasons:

  • To Cause Injury to Oneself

Depression frequently develops in rage aimed against oneself over suffering and being weak, and it indicates a desire for self-harm.

  • To Regain Control

Anger is frequently used to frighten in an attempt to dominate, whether it stems from paralyzing fear or just frustration that things aren’t going the way we want them to.

  • To Have a Powerful Feeling

If someone feels little, making others appear insignificant helps them feel big in return.

  • To Oppose Injustice

Righteous anger arises from a human’s moral center, as outrage over an injustice done to himself or others.

So, how may anger be effectively managed?

Understanding and Managing Your Own Anger

Understanding and Managing Your Own Anger

Anger is a very natural element of being human. It gets harmful when we are unable to notice it or when it turns aggressive. As a result, it’s critical to first comprehend and defuse your personal anger.

We get furious for three grounds, or areas: assets, including such income and eating; residency, that covers not only your house, but also your neighborhood, work, education, and nation; and relations, that comprise your close relatives, colleagues, political group, and spirituality.

Anger is a natural and healthy feeling that is neither positive nor negative. It, like any other feeling, provides a signal, informing you that a condition is distressing, unfair, or dangerous. Conversely, if your first response to rage is to erupt, that signal is never transmitted. Thus, while it’s natural to get furious after you’ve been harmed or mistreated, rage becomes a concern when you show it in a manner that affects yourself as well as others.

You may believe that expressing your rage is beneficial, that others among you are too delicate, that your rage is legitimate, or that you require to display your rage to gain respect. However, the fact is that wrath is far more prone to have a bad influence on how others see you, hamper your judgment, and obstruct your achievement.

How to Defuse Anger in Yourself?

How to Defuse Anger in Yourself

It cannot be ignored or suppressed in this manner. Experience and research have often demonstrated how ineffective those techniques are. When anger reaches a particular level, it appears to need acceptable expression in order to be subdued. That is, it should be released in a manner that feels good—literally cleansing. The objective would next be to discharge it in a manner that causes as little harm as practicable. How one goes about doing this is determined on the source of the anger.

  • Anger Directed against Oneself

Depression is nearly definitely the root of the problem, and it should be addressed and handled.

  • Anger Used to gain Control

Consider why you experience out of power. Fright is a major cause. Another issue is a loss of control. Luckily or sadly, anger is frequently an effective short-term technique for regaining control, because it is simpler to experience than most of the feelings that generate it. But, because anger is essentially a reflection of our unsatisfied desire for power (if we had authority, we would not really feel furious), it is far preferable to find a way to supply us with true regulation instead of the appearance of it. Whenever such control is not attainable, the next best alternative is to fully identify the sensations that feeling out of charge causes initially, prior anger: dread and insecurity. If we can recognize these sentiments every time they come, we will be able to deal with them more constructively—or at least better mindfully.

  • Anger to Make us Feel Strong

Power isn’t the biggest problem anymore. It’s also that we feel tiny and uncomfortable and have discovered that expressing rage is an excellent way of feeling stronger than others surrounding us. Understanding what’s happening gives us the ability to stop the development of rage and rather cope with emotions of uneasiness. Anger fueled by insecurity is especially effective at ruining close relationships.

  • Anger Over an Injustice

What is the greatest way to get rid of this rage? Act accordingly to right the wrong, whether it was done to yourself or to anyone else.

Of course, rage might be triggered by any of these or more of these factors at the same moment. Fury directed at terrible things that happened to you (rather than anyone else) may coexist with frustration directed at gaining power. Rage directed at oneself for being weak in a specific scenario may coexist with anger directed at anyone else as a means of gaining the authority you want.

How to Defuse Anger in Others

How to Defuse Anger in Others

The aim here is dual, and your capability to complete the second is reliant on your capability to complete the first:

  • Maintain your Self-Control.

When you are the target of anyone’s rage, they are either attempting to dominate you in certain manner or making you feel tiny because they can seem big. And you’ve said something wrong to them. We must try to figure out what one of the three it really is. We must convince ourselves that fury is their technique which has nothing to do to you, except, of obviously, you have done them an offense for which you might apologies.

  • Assist Them in Expressing their Rage in a Manner that Feels Satisfactory Without Making Damage

Reacting to rage with rage seldom yields favorable results. If you can keep yourself cool so some other person’s anger does not mislead you or leave you seem insignificant, you possess an opportunity to assist them cope with the underlying issue that prompted their hostility in the first instance. 

  • Validation

Opposing a person’s emotions, being furious with them, and rejecting that their frustration is reasonable all serve to exacerbate it. Although if their outrage isn’t warranted in your opinion, what good would persuading them of that be? It’s unlikely that they’d have influence over it. Emotions do not require a reason to be experienced. Every emotion needs validation. Not just adults kids too need validation.

  • Assist Them in Expressing their Rage through Words.

Encourage them to vent their rage verbally instead of via damaging behavior. This is frequently an excellent technique to let people release their emotions in a satisfactory way.

  • Get Enraged with Them

Make yourself even more enraged than they really are. Change oneself from the target of their rage to their companion who shares their rage.

  • Shift the Person’s Attention

Among the first actions we should take when individuals are angry or disturbed is to shift their emotional condition. We can accomplish this by disrupting their routine and redirecting their concentration. Address them by surname or politely request them to “wait a minute.” This might bring the individual to a halt and enable them to shift their concentration.

  • Make Words of Empathy

At this time, the greatest comment you can give is, “Let me double-check that I understood what you’re saying. You’re implying…” Now paraphrase what you just heard them speak. If you exactly what you’re getting to say is similar to what they just stated, they’ll stop and hear. Remove forceful statements such as “If you’d rather let me speak…” These might irritate the other individual.

  • Item Count

Whenever people are furious or disturbed, they are mostly acting from the right, emotive part of their nervous system. Offer them a left-brain activity to move them to the analytical, sensible left part of their mind. As an instance: “You claim that you did not receive the document on time, that it did not contain all of the data you required, and that it was not inside this structured sequence. Is that right?”

  • You don’t have to Keep them Correct, but you Also don’t have to Keep them Incorrect

There really is no chance we can persuade people out of their sentiments when they are at their most enraged. However, whenever you see an angry man in suit say something like, “I respect your sentiments,” or “I’m confident if I were in your shoes, I’d feel exactly the same thing.”

  • Become Quick fix

If you are unsure how much you can assist, please inquire. If you are able to assist, make a numbered list of the actions you will undertake. Make it clear to the other party that you worry about what they’ve been suffering through it and are eager to assist them.

It’s also crucial to realize that if anyone’s rage appears to be menacing or out of hand, the best thing we can do is leave. Suitable remarks would be, “I can sense you are terribly offended.” I’d like to assist, but certainly cannot in this manner.”

Health Hazards

Health Hazards

Whenever a human gets furious, the body produces stress chemicals such as adrenaline, cortisol, and cortisone. As a response, the pulse rate, hypertension, core temperature, as well as respiratory rate all rise.

Persistent, uncontrolled anger can cause a steady stream of stress chemicals, which can be harmful to one’s wellbeing.

Physical Health Hazards Emotional Health Hazards
Backaches Moodiness or depression
Headaches Eating Disorders
Skin Disorders Drug or alcohol abuse
Stroke Suicidal ideation
Reduced Pain Threshold Self-harm
Heart Attack Low Self-esteem
Hypertension, High Pulse Rate
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) or other digestive problems
a weaker immune system, that can lead to an increase in viruses, colds, and influenza


bad feeling

Although anger is frequently seen as a bad feeling that must be avoided at all costs, the veracity of this view always has appeared to me to rely upon as to why the rage emerges in the very first instance and how it is dealt with. For instance, rage has long been thought to be an adequate answer to unfairness, one that causes little emotional damage and might be good in that it inspires effort to correct wrongdoings. 

The aim, it seemed to me, would be not to eradicate anger, but to regulate it; not to conceal it, but to use it to produce value.